When parents separate, the most important question is usually how the children will be cared for. In New Zealand, the Care of Children Act 2004 says that the welfare and best interests of the child are the first and paramount consideration.
Guardianship and day-to-day care
Guardianship is about major long-term decisions, such as education, medical treatment and religion. Day-to-day care (and contact) is about where the child lives and when they spend time with each parent. Both can be agreed between parents or decided by the Family Court if parents cannot agree.
Agreeing a parenting plan
Most families reach agreement without a court hearing. A written parenting plan can cover:
- Where the children will live and the weekly or fortnightly pattern.
- School holidays, birthdays and special occasions.
- Handovers, communication and travel.
- How you will resolve future disagreements.
Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)
In most cases, parents must attend Family Dispute Resolution, a mediation process provided through the Family Court, before they can apply for a parenting order. There are exceptions, for example in urgent cases or where there are safety concerns, including family violence.
If the matter goes to court
The court focuses on the child's welfare and best interests, and children are given a chance to have their views heard in an age-appropriate way. A lawyer may be appointed to represent the child. Court is generally the last resort because it takes time and can increase conflict.
Tips for putting children first
- Keep the children out of adult disputes and avoid criticising the other parent in front of them.
- Be flexible and keep communication respectful and focused on the children's needs.
- Get legal advice early so you understand your options and what is realistic.
We provide practical and compassionate guidance through every stage, from negotiating an agreement to court proceedings.
General information only, not legal advice.
